Category / Family

by jcuene

Stick Together: Staying Balanced When Everything is Up in the Air

If you spend a lot of time online, (or at least paying attention to the news) you’re probably feeling overwhelmed. On one hand, the news is terrible: Ecological nightmares happening in slow motion, wars across the globe, economy in turmoil, inflation, infowars, 30% of the population in the US duped into thinking the election was stolen, your neighbors fighting over science and vaccines, etc. On the other hand, your Instagram feed is a steady stream of gauzy filters, happy overload, best lives, extreme positivity, hope, hustle, ambition.

Yet, we’re stuck in the middle trying to get through the day, and figure out post-pandemic norms. We’re languishing.

American culture seems to be driven by extrinsic validation. We like nice cars (because they signal success), expensive clothes (because they signal taste, style), big job titles, the right zip code, the vacations, the right causes, etc. We love likes, so we perform online to get the validation.

But, when the world is going nuts, when chaos seems right around the corner, when your planned path isn’t an option anymore, how do we stay balanced, centered, tethered, steady?

I’m struggling with this right now. I don’t have good answers, but i’m compulsively clicking on the links in twitter hoping to find an article to help me. I’m getting distracted by alerts from the folks barking for my attention. This guru wants me to take a class. That other one wants me to go to their seminar. No app will ever really help me get clear, despite what the ads say.

There are days when I feel like a Kurtz, who went up the river, leaving with optimism, now stuck in the wild, overwhelmed at what the Internet has done to us all. The horror. What has replaced all that hope?

So, I’m working at staying upright. A little yoga, a little meditation. More exercise, better sleep. You know its bad when i’m taking advice from Radiohead: 

Fitter happier
More productive
Comfortable
Not drinking too much

I’m one of those guys that always put their head down and tried hard to do the work. I was never the smartest, I have been lazy, but i thought i could endure more work than others.

That approach is making this period of languishing worse, this acedia harder.

I want to be centered, I want to be still. But, my reptile brain is winning and I’m pretty sure my dopamine receptors are burned out.

I think the answer is pretty obvious, but hard for me to see sometimes: Stick together. Find your people, listen carefully, be of service, offer support, ideas and generosity. Be useful. Seek ways to help move something forward. Find ways to connect, even over zoom.

I was listening to the Ezra Klein podcast and the guest was talking about the way profound loneliness – feeling apart, being isolated emotionally, not necessarily just being physically apart – drives people crazy and makes them susceptible to crazy ideas (like QAnon, the Big Lie, conspiracy theories about vaccines, etc). This recalls the book Vivek Murthy wrote a couple years ago, where he made the argument there’s an epidemic of loneliness. Of course we’re all lonely. It’s part of what’s making us nuts.

So, let’s try to stick together. Let’s help each other get out of this bog of ennui and listlessness. Let’s help each other find a sense of balance in a destabilizing world. Let’s hang onto each other when everything seems up in the air.

by jcuene

Father’s Day 2021

Thinking about my own father in a different way this year. He’s getting older, frail, a little more cranky. But, still on the whole, optimistic about the time he’s got left. We joke about him being in the 4th quarter of his life, but he’ll laugh and say he’s in the last minute of the two minute warning and the fat lady is stepping to the mic. 

I’m beginning to let myself wonder what my life might be like without him, how things may be different when he’s not there to call or consult.   While I’ve never taken him for granted, he’s been a constant presence, the center of my life’s radar, the point around which the arm sweeps. No matter where my actions might show up as a little  blip on that radar, he was always there, the home coordinates around which i traveled.  

He’s one of those good 1950’s/1960’s dads, a warm, steady presence but not overly involved unless it’s a big decision: Job changes, mortgages, investing. I don’t think he gets the concept of an interior life. I wouldn’t go to him to get advice or discuss philosophical questions, or the hobbies and pursuits that I’m passionate about. His parenting model was pretty straightforward: He gave me all the space I needed to figure shit out on my own, and he offered love and faith that eventually I’d make something good happen. He’d listen all day long, but he was mainly just letting me talk it out. He’s known me by the actions I’ve taken and the friends I’ve made, not what’s in my heart or head. 

Most days I believe he’s given me the best of the tools he’s had and the wisdom he’s gained. But, as I look ahead to the next 5-10 years, I can’t help but wonder if I should be digging to find any more nuggets as the clock ticks. 

And, the clock is ticking for me, too. I feel urgency to step up my game as a dad and review the past to consider my own work as a father and what I should be doing better, differently. My boys are both at important ages, one in the critical first years of college, the other in the wide open post graduation period. They’re both good young men, grown in most ways.  But, in other ways, they are still figuring out how al the pieces fit together and, more importantly, what pieces they can put on the table. 

They’re smarter than I am, but I’ve made more mistake and thus have some hard-earned wisdom. As I get older, I get more confident that I know The Truth about certain things. I want, more than anything, to tell them everything I know (or think I know). That Paul was the most important Beatle, but I’d want to hang out with Ringo. The Who is probably overrated. The Clash might be the best band ever from England. Buffet and Munger are the ones to listen to. Ride your bike. Keep a diary. I would love the chance to lecture them on the importance of friendship, kindness, compound interest, a buy and hold strategy, etc. But, at the same time, one of the best gifts my father gave me was the space and time to do things my way without a lot of judgement or oversteering. So, my plan is to wait, with a full heart and a bottomless supply of love, for them to circle back to me when the time is right, when they need a little reorientation or to check their coordinates a bit. 

by jcuene

Week X: The Hump Week, Together

I’m no longer sure of what week we’re in of the “Quarantine Times” era but it feels like we’ve been at this for a looong time. As I’ve been talking with people for work and for life, I’m sensing a rising sense of fatigue inside all the energy that carried us through the first part of this time. It’s not anger, it’s not outright frustration, but it feels like we are (or at least I am) stuck in the mud. Seth Levine is right to call it the Week Six Slump.

This is going to be a time in our lives when we look back with a strange brew of emotions and questions, but right now, in this particular week, I’m in a funk of sorts. I realize how good my family has got it, relatively speaking and i am aware of the privilege that affords me the opportunity to keep working in these times, from home. Work at Fahren is going better than we expected during quarantine. My sons are holding up really well, despite very significant impacts in their schooling and social lives. My family is safe. There are (probably temporary) signs of a comeback in the stock market. Folks want to get on with it, but I’m feeling, well, blah. Funky, not in a good way. Blue.

Here’s my plan to get out of it:

  • Connect with new folks – Keep reconnecting with folks that aren’t part of my normal routine. Not just for networking, though. I’ve got enough Linkedin contacts. It’s become clear to me that I get energy when I’m listening and learning from people. If i go into conversations with the goal of deep listening, I find an energy there that i really enjoy. If networking is candy, real conversations are whole foods. I want more whole foods.
  • Create more – I’m starting a little writing project that’s just for me, and I love the work so far. I may launch it eventually, but right now, it’s a hobby that’s helping me get my mornings started well.
  • Morning routine – I’ve recommitted to a regular morning routine. It’s a commitment, but it makes the rest of the day so much better.
  • Slow Down – Time is going so fast, it really feels like its slipping away sometimes. I’ve been trying hard to enjoy the moments of each day, and feel gratitude for the chance to work on hard problems, in the moment. Call it mindfulness, call it being present. But, it helps.
  • Give Back – My little company just wrapped up a small project for a non-profit we love and it was a great, tiny project. They’ve got some cool ambitions, but tight resources. We could help at the right time, with the right skills. We covered the costs of the team that delivered the work for the non-profit, and they were thrilled. It could point them in a bold new direction, and it felt great to be able to help with the oddball set of skills i’ve accumulated over the years.
  • Contemplating – I’ve spent the last 14 years of my career focused on “work like a startup”, go faster, etc. But, i wonder if the best strategy is to actually slow it all down and get great at a few things and build upon that excellence? Are we done with the “first mover”, startup era? I’ve been reading Built to Last and Small Giants and it’s been refreshing.

I know we’ll all get through this and we’ll get over this hump. But, in the meantime, you might get a call or an email from me asking for a chat or to let me bounce an idea off you.

by jcuene

Yes to the Leadville Jitters: Aspire to Do Epic Stuff

Today I find out if I have to dig deep in August. 

Thousands of nut jobs enter the lottery to get in to the Leadville Trail 100 MTB each year, and this year, against my better judgement,  I threw my name in, too.  I’m both excited and worried that I might “win” the lottery. If I do get in, i’m sure I’ll have to go pretty far into my suitcase of courage to get through it.  If I don’t get in, I’ll chalk it up to bad luck and commit to being the best crew member/driver/helper I can  be for my friends who do get in. 

The lottery results are announced today and the time for being ambivalent will be over.  I’ll have to get off the fence and commit one way or another. 

The Leadville 100 Mountain Bike Race is one of intimidating monuments of endurance cycling: 103 miles on an out-and-back course covering 10,000 feet of climbing at altitude in the Rockies.  It is 10-12 hours of pain for most racers, a steady mix of grinding trails, harder climbing, and a battle with the dark-side voices in your head. 

I’ve done the race before. After wondering about it for years I finally got in via lottery in 2018. I went with a group of 4 other guys and we all got the portfolio of experiences we were seeking, good and bad. In a lot of ways, the 2018 ride was a peak life experience. I can’t believe I really did it. It seemed almost out of reach before I got to the line. So, completing it created a sense of pride and satisfaction, relief that the plan came together.

But, did I need to do it again?  I wasn’t convinced, yet I said “yes” to adventure and challenge. So, here I am, the day of  the lottery, wondering and waiting and worrying. 

In my heart of hears, I know I really want to take it on one last time. 

I know it’s going to hurt a lot. The ride is just really hard on a middle aged body. 12 hours on the bike is never easy at any rate or on any surface. I remember seeing people crossing the finish line all hunched over from the pain, their backs and arms seizing up with cramps. I’ll have blisters and raw skin in places you wouldn’t expect and I’ll be sore for a week afterwards.  In 2018, coming over the finish line, I was sure I’d be a “one and done” rider. Despite all that, I’m still hoping to get in. 

One one hand, it’s just a bike ride. A stupid long one that is expensive and irrationally hard. With all the craziness in the world right now, it could be seen as a gross indulgence to spend that kind of time and energy on a group ride to the top of the hill and back. On, the other hand,  what better way for  a middle aged laptop jockey like me to remind himself what his body is capable of? Epically stupid bike rides can still be epic challenges. 

Here’s the thing about the epic challenges: They force you to strip away all the bullshit and niceties and civilization. What might have started as a lark – a decision made after the third beer – gets serious really quick. Between now and August 15th, I will need to be committed to a hard plan, and gut my way through a lot of “practice” challenges to make sure I’m ready for the real one. 

To get through ordeals like Leadville, you just have to cut through your rationalizations to the truly primal stuff, you have to go deep down into the basement of your soul and see what’s in there when it’s as hard – physically – as it’s ever been for you. When you take your body to the extreme, your mind and heart have to go along and it becomes a spirit challenge: Do you have it in you or don’t you?  

For me, Leadville was one of those “before & after” experiences. Life “after” my ride in 2018 was more meaningful in ways I’m still trying to understand. I found out some things about myself that I didn’t expect to find and I was surprised at what was revealed (in a good and bad way). 

I’m pretty sure the odds will be in my favor today and I’ll be heading to Leadville to Race on the 15th of August. These things get harder as I get further up the road, but they also become more meaningful. Wish me “luck”!

by jcuene

Where I’m Going Next: Unlocking Innovation for Modern Brands

Though the digital revolution really began in the early 90’s, we’re just beginning to get our arms around what’s possible for brands and marketers. Meanwhile, the future of brands, of brand building, of marketing is being invented, right now, every day.

For instance, as I write this post, the digital marketing headlines center around the founders of Snapchat turning down an acquisition offer from Facebook, holding out for a better offer.

It should be noted, they have no revenue.

Snapchat didn’t exist three years ago (and, if you are reading this in 2017, Snapchat may not exist anymore). Yet, some observers agree they may be worth more than  the rumored $3 billion dollar Facebook  offer.

Has the business world gone crazy, or is it truly possible to invent, design and grow disruptive, innovative businesses that fast?

For those of you not living in the digital space, the pace of change may seem disorienting. But trust me, it will never be slower than it is right now.

Unlocking Innovation: The Next Phase of the Digital Transformation

I’ve been involved in the digital business in one way or another since 1995 when I was teaching classes on “What is the Internet” or “Understanding the World Wide Web”. I’ve done a lot of the jobs required to bring web and mobile experiences to life, from coding and designing to advertising and promoting. I’ve lived through a couple boom and bust cycles.

I’ve seen Web 1.0, Web 2.0 and whatever Web 3.0 was supposed to be. But, based on my experiences, I believe we’re in the early stages of the most important cycle for most businesses: Accelerated innovation through new products and services.

In today’s landscape, smart business leaders see the massive opportunity for innovative products and services that weren’t possible even 5 years ago.  Bold, modern marketers are recognizing that there’s never been a better time to build brands through useful, helpful services and content.

So, they are looking for ways to reinvent, to unlock new ways to grow.

In almost every category, I’m seeing examples that should appeal to the soul of modern marketers who recognize growth can come by re-examining all aspects of their business in light of the digital transformation hitting them: their business model, their go-to-market strategy, their consumer communication model, the products, services and content they offer and their brand, overall. Just a few examples of bold innovation I’m seeing.

  • GoPro has built an incredible business and brand in a space that should have been owned by Sony, without much paid advertising (marketing model innovation)

  • RedBull has become one of the largest providers of action sports programming (media model innovation)

  • SpecialK has built and delivered a diet plan around their cereal brand (brand building innovation)

  • DollarShaveClub.com is working on disrupting the men’s grooming accessories business through price, brand and distribution (business model innovation)

Brands Need a Different Kind of Partner to Spark Innovation

To unlock real transformational growth and innovation, smart marketers need partners that aren’t satisfied merely to work on this year’s campaign materials. As a matter of fact, I’m seeing some of the most exciting ideas happening when companies work with smaller, more experimental firms at the front of the change.

Fortunately for marketing leaders, there is a growing number of great firms out there. The marketing service companies that support the brands (i.e. the ad agencies, PR shops, design shops, management consultancies) are going through their own, difficult transformations, too.

As a result, new kinds of firms are emerging, focused on dreaming up new businesses, inventing whole new products or services, or planning out alternative marketing models; Firms that are purpose-built, designed from the ground up to be agile, fast, data driven and iterative.

The agency disruption is leading to the kind of collaborators who help marketers answer that age old strategic question, “what business are you really in?” and then bring those new ideas to life, in market, to drive growth.

These new model, smaller firms are alternatives to legacy agencies which are trying to compete on strengths (scale, global network, heavy investments in “creative”) that aren’t as valuable anymore. And, in many cases, the operating models and cost structures of legacy firms make it almost impossible to move quickly and to work with the best collaborators available across the globe.

An Amazing Time to Build Brands and Businesses

Disruptive innovation is hitting just about every industry. New collaborators arising to help marketers win in a changing landscape. Has there ever been a better time to be in business?

So, marketers, we have a choice: are we going to wait and watch and react when it hits your category? Or are we going to drive the change. I don’t know about you, but I want to be a driver.

My Next Phase: GoKart Labs

I’ve recently left one of America’s great brand building companies (General Mills) to join a company not many know yet. GoKart Labs (gokartlabs.com) is a small, stealthy company that builds real businesses and drives remarkable innovation. We build our own businesses (Sophia, Kinly, a couple in the pipeline). We build them with our partners (BringMeThenews.com). And, we will use our business building chops to grow yours.

Your ad agency can’t do what GoKart does.

We’re built to invent new products and services, help you find and grow your customer base or help you generate whole new business models. We’re designed for market acceleration, not conference room creative conversations. Then, we’ll help you design, develop and deliver the digital experiences that build your brands. And, finally, our growth hackers can help you find customers through the truly agile marketing we use to grow our businesses.

Now, as I buckle up for this next phase — both mine and the web’s — I couldn’t be more excited. I’m excited to bring what I’ve learned working with some of the best marketers and brands in the world.

I’m excited to learn from the many entrepreneurs and business leaders in and around GoKart Labs. And finally, I’m excited to be part of a crew of collaborators inventing new businesses, products and innovations. I’ve got my foot on the gas and I’m ready to drive.

by jcuene

peterme.com :: Locating value in interaction design consultancies

Thinking about this post a lot lately, for a number of reasons.

Recently, i’ve been trying to communicate to some folks at work the role "interactive services" (broadly defined) have in further defining the packaged widgets we make and sell, how the right services surrounding a commoditized thing, can transform the thing into something wonderful. I haven’t quite made the case convincingly, yet. The folks i talk to all day have made their careers (and a lot of money for Enormicon)  by "talking about the thing" vs designing the thing itself. they’re marketing/ad guys,  not interactive guys. I’ve come up in world where i’ve focused, or at least tried to, on "the thing itself". I’m still learning to bridge the communications gap.

Link: peterme.com :: Locating value in interaction design consultancies.

by jcuene

I Really Will Take This Blogging Thing Seriously, But First

I try to keep this blog pretty bland and non-personal. There are plenty of reasons why, but mainly i live a very boring life and the world doesn’t need that boredom inflicted on it. With all that is going poorly across the globe, i don’t feel my pissing and moaning would make things better or worse. So, i pretty much stick to dumb stuff like "irish hotties", "golf porn", and "Multiple ipods on XP". At least, that’s what my referrer logs say.

But, evidently, this site is read by others, and i’ve gotten a few emails from former coworkers and old friends asking where i’ve been. Short answer: in a dark hole, and at a new job. Longer answer: Below.

September & October:
– Traveling back and forth to De Pere WI every weekend, watching Cancer kill my mother from the inside out, and my father helpless for the first time in my (and his)
– Some insights into the problematic way i’ve been avoiding stress, emotions, and a couple other things. THey come home to roost, and I have to start dealing with them.
– Fantastic new job starts.
– I finished my second Chequamagon Fat Tire Festival, cutting 14 minutes off my time. Start looking to next year.

November & December:
– Still on the road to De Pere every weekend
– Feeling pretty low,  but at the same time, more optimistic than ever about my future.
– Sad to see my beloved brother crushed, too, dealing with difficult times himself
– Mom dies. Dad crushed. Family shattered.
– Meet Bob, a wise man, who can help me make sense of a couple questions i’ve struggled with for a while. Glad to have met him!
– Holidays are weird with mom gone. She’s as present as ever, but not there at all. Stressful and tenative. Moreso than ever. But, Dickensian ending where we all hold hands and gain deeper, richer appreciation for the importance of having family to lean on and share pain with. Good times. Seriously.
– New job is awesome.

January
– Trip to Uruguay with Dad and my brother and family friends. Great trip, but missed the family
– A. goes to Las Vegas
– Trip to Google, blown mind. Great possibility. This internet thing is going to be huge!
– Feeling pretty good about the future

February
– Start riding my bike again (!) and feel better already. Looking forward to Fat Tire fest in September
– Stop riding my bike due to work and sickness
– Fantastic weekends at the cabin in WI, skating on the pond, making fires on the pond, great quality time with family.
– Feeling very positive about the future

March
– More time at cabin (!)
– Great trip to AZ, with a bunch of bike riding thrown in.
– Start shopping for a carbon fiber bike to buy this summer
– Work is still going well
– The future is bright, I’m looking at shades

April
– Take Cooper to Kids Choice Awards 2007. Best trip of a lifetime ever.

A couple other things:
– Amy Winehouse is fantastic, and her new album is dynamite. Buy it today.
– Listening to a lot of old Buffalo Tom
– Love the John Hodgeman book/audio CD. Extremely false and equally funny.
– Still trying to get in shape. That 15 lb weight loss is unicorn-esque, but I will capture it one day!
– Looking at boats. Seriously. Runabouts, you know, for the kids! At the lake!

All is good. Its getting better all the time.

Thanks for reading. Seriously.